11 Ways to Know If a Therapist is a Good Fit for You

By: Shaye Mueller

Finding a therapist that suits your needs can sometimes feel like finding a needle in a haystack. Here are eleven ways to help you know if a therapist is a good fit for you!

1. YOU UNDERSTAND THEIR QUALIFICATIONS 

   Not all therapists are made the same. If you take a look online, you’ll see that there are LPCs, LCPCs, LCSWs, PsyDs, PhD, and many more! On top of that, each therapist has a unique blend of specialties they treat. The sheer number of options can be overwhelming, to say the least. Therapists should be able to explain how their specific qualifications and relevant experience help make them a good fit that is uniquely qualified to help you. 

2. YOU ALIGN WITH THEIR APPROACH

   Each therapist also has their own style of how they approach their clients. They can be direct, passive, short-term, long-term, use specific modalities (like art therapy for me!) in treatment, etc. Asking a therapist about their style and approach can help you decide if they’re right for you. 

3. YOU’RE TREATED ETHICALLY

   All therapists are bound to codes of ethics. These ethics are in place to help protect you and make sure you receive high quality care. Ethics help establish things like healthy boundaries, goals for treatment, and confidentiality. Safety is a foundation of therapy, and a good fit will adhere to their ethical guidelines.  

4. YOU DON’T FEEL RUSHED 

   At the core of therapy is building trust. Part of the natural evolution of the therapeutic relationship is the initial “building trust” phase. Typically, this phase must happen before you are able to get to the good stuff. And like most good things, this phase takes time. Many come to therapy expecting instant and lasting change. But the truth is therapists do not have a magic wand that can help fix your problems overnight! Patience is key here. A good fit will help you feel safe and grounded during this time. 

5. YOU FEEL VALIDATED

   While the outside world whirls around us, therapy is a special time where you get to hold the spotlight. It should be a space where your wants, needs, and desires are acknowledged and given the attention they deserve. Feeling validated by your therapist is a sign that the two of you are in alignment.

6. YOU FEEL LIKE THEY’RE AUTHENTIC

   While we talk a lot about your perspective of things, there is no denying that authenticity is a two way street. As humans, we are really good at sensing if someone is being genuine or not. Picking up signs that your therapist is being authentic is a sign of a good fit- authenticity is key to building trust and safety with your therapist.

7. YOU CAN TALK ABOUT THE RELATIONSHIP

   Just like other relationships, the therapeutic relationship is not immune to needing communication and confrontation. Addressing concerns and being honest with your therapist can be a daunting task. But doing so is important!  Being able to talk about how therapy is going with your therapist is a good sign that you’re feeling safe with them.

8. YOU CAN RELY ON THEM

   Building off of #7, a great sign that your therapist is a good fit is if they listen to your feedback non-judgmentally, and follow through with actionable change. Confrontation can be intimidating. But sometimes, it’s necessary to help us get where we need to go. Your therapist is not a mindreader, but they should always listen to you. And they should be reliable enough to follow through on their word.  

9. YOU FEEL CHALLENGED

   Part of the ethical care mentioned above is challenging clients to grow. If you are looking to feel warm and fuzzy all the time, then maybe therapy is not the answer you’re looking for. Yes, therapy should feel safe and comfortable. But you should feel challenged as well! Without this, therapy can easily become stuck and stagnant. A good fit will help keep tabs on your progress and guide you towards a path of healing and growth. 

10. YOU CAN BE YOURSELF 

    Another benefit of therapy is being able to take off the masks you put on in everyday life. Your therapist should be a safe place where you can celebrate all of the wonderful things that make you unique. 

11. YOU LISTEN TO YOUR GUT 

    With everything being said, sometimes you just know in your gut if it’s a great fit or not. Your gut is important. And I encourage you to tap into its wisdom. 

Finding a good match can be challenging. But with the right fit, therapy can change your life! If you are interested in learning more about my approach or seeing if we could be a good fit, please reach out to me today! 

Warmly,

Shaye