The holidays are a funny thing. On one hand, they bring a sense of warmth, tradition, and a whole lot of good food. On the other, they have this sneaky way of stirring up feelings we didn’t ask for—grief, guilt, and a longing for something that feels just out of reach.

Let’s talk about nostalgia for a second. We all know the story: we want our kids to have the magical holiday memories we had growing up. The sparkly lights, the Christmas mornings full of excitement, the feeling of wonder. But here’s the kicker: those moments from our childhood were a product of who we were then, and we’re not there anymore. We’re different now. And so is everything else.

But that doesn’t stop the pressure, does it? The pressure to create the perfect holiday experience, to live up to the memories we’ve romanticized in our minds. The pressure to make everything just so. We put so much energy into recreating those picture-perfect moments, hoping that somehow, if we do it all right, we’ll capture that magic again. But what happens when we can’t? When we don’t have the energy to do it all, or when things don’t look like they did in our daydreams?

Cue the mom guilt.

It’s almost impossible not to feel like we’re falling short. Are we doing enough for our kids? Will they remember this holiday the way we hope they will? The truth is, they’ll remember how they felt—not the perfection. And if we’re constantly caught in the whirlwind of shoulds and musts, we’re missing the chance to just be with them in the here and now.

And let’s not forget about the grief that tends to make an appearance during the holidays. Grief over the people we’ve lost, the relationships that have changed, or the memories that now have an air of sadness around them. It’s like the holiday season brings all of that to the surface—like we can’t have joy without first feeling the weight of what we’re missing. Sometimes, it’s not just the grief of what we’ve lost—it’s the grief of what we never got to have, or what wasn’t given to us. We might be trying to make up for those missed experiences, hoping to fill that gap for ourselves and our kids. But here’s the thing: it’s okay to feel both. The joy and the sadness. The excitement and the grief. We don’t have to shove those feelings aside to create a perfect holiday for our families. In fact, the best thing we can do for them is to be real. To show them that the holidays don’t have to be perfect to be meaningful.

So, how do we challenge all of these emotions? First, we practice compassion—for ourselves. Let’s step back and acknowledge that we are doing the best we can. No, our holiday season might not look like the one we envisioned, but guess what? It’s still ours. And it’s still enough.

It’s about creating moments of connection, even when things aren’t perfect. It’s about sitting down with our kids and laughing, even if the tree isn’t fully decorated. It’s about giving ourselves permission to feel all the things—and not apologizing for it.

And when the guilt starts to creep in, let’s remind ourselves: we are doing beautifully.

The holidays don’t need to be flawless to be full of magic. The magic is in the love, the laughter, and the space we make for all the feelings that come with this season.

So here’s to taking the pressure off and embracing the holiday season as it comes—perfectly imperfect and all.

In warmth and health this holiday season,
Tesa