By: Shaye Mueller

As the holiday season descends upon us, many of us are gearing up to slow down a bit. In theory, taking time off to spend with your family sounds restful and recharging. However, the reality is that our lives are not a Hallmark movie filled with snowflakes and white picket fences. The truth is that the holidays are complicated. Likely more than we think, they often bring conflict, chaos, and grief to the front and center of our lives. And it is no secret that the holidays can be destabilizing to our mental health. Recognizing and preparing for this can help a great deal in coping through it all.

1. Plan ahead
   • Preparation is key to preserving your mental health through the holiday season. By planning ahead for the holidays, we can help increase feelings of empowerment and control in our lives. Working with your therapist to outline a holiday survival plan is one way to get started. 
2. Practice setting boundaries
   • This is much easier said than done! Setting boundaries can often feel shaky and clumsy in the moment. But one way to prevent this is practicing ahead of time! We can do this by first identifying what our boundaries are. Frequently, we forget this crucial first step, thus leading to a snowball of misunderstandings. By narrowing down what our boundaries are, they will be much easier to retrieve and set in the moment. Next, we can then practice how to set these boundaries. Working with your therapist on specific language and tone is a great way to practice honing these skills more effectively.
3. Bring a bag of tricks
   • With holidays often comes travel, causing us to temporarily leave our homes and be on someone else’s home turf. Or, we may welcome others into our safe havens. And when stressors arise in these situations, this can become very dysregulating, leaving us with few resources to turn to. One way to prepare for this is to come prepared with coping materials for the stressors that come along with the holiday season. Some examples that can make all the difference include headphones, a journal, a novel (or two!), or coloring books (we love this one!)
4. Find your safe haven
   • Whether you are traveling to another place or welcoming others into your space, the holidays require a lot of socializing. Because of this, it is paramount that we are able to carve out a physical space away from others for us to take a breath. A physical space can help provide us with space to ground and recollect ourselves after becoming triggered or overwhelmed. 
5. Phone a friend
   • There is no doubt that relationships with loved ones can be complicated. And despite the tropes about family we are told, sometimes these relationships aren’t the most reliable to lean on. This can lead to many things including conflict, stress, and feelings of loneliness. Identifying and reaching out to safe people can help offset these stressors. Also, it may be beneficial to discuss with your therapist how they can best support you during this time. 
6. Treat yourself
   • Lastly- the fun part of self care! While it may sound a little cliche, indulging in something that you truly enjoy can help you cope and find pockets of joy. This can be anything from a massage to your favorite snack. There is no doubt that the holiday season can put a massive amount of stress on your body and nervous system. This is why it is important to take time to soothe and relax yourself and give yourself a treat. After all, you deserve it!

Above all, remember that none of this is supposed to be perfect. Those Hallmark movies are not realistic. But with all of the methods above, you can begin to take some great first steps in helping you survive the holiday season. And with the help of a therapist, you can work to create a steady plan to help you prepare and thrive throughout it. 

Whether you are looking for support through the holidays or other mental health issues, you are in the right place! Our clinicians are here to help. Please reach out to us to get scheduled with an appointment today.

Happy Everything,

Shaye