By: Tesa Emmart, LCPC, LMHC, SEP, PMH-C

Winter asks something very different of us than the rest of the year.

And yet, many of us keep trying to live as though nothing has changed – same pace, same expectations, same output – while our bodies quietly protest.

If you’ve felt heavier, more irritable, more tired, or less like yourself lately, this isn’t a personal shortcoming. It’s often a nervous system response to a season that removes many of the supports we rely on to stay regulated.

This is where wintering comes in.

Not as a trend.
Not as an aesthetic.
But as a biological and nervous-system-informed reframe.

What Does It Mean to “Winter”?

Wintering doesn’t mean giving up, checking out, or doing nothing.

It means adjusting to reality.

In nature, winter is a time of conservation:

• Trees pull resources inward
• Growth slows or pauses
• Energy is preserved rather than spent

Humans are no different – despite living in a culture that tells us we should function the same way year-round.

When we ignore this seasonal shift, our nervous systems often respond with:

• Irritability
• Emotional reactivity
• Fatigue that rest doesn’t fully resolve
• A sense that everything feels harder
• Guilt, guilt, guilt

Wintering is the practice of meeting your nervous system where it is, rather than forcing it to perform as if it’s spring.

Why Winter Feels Especially Hard for Women (and Mothers)

For women, and particularly for mothers, winter often comes with less margin.

Less daylight.
Less rest.
More logistics.
More caregiving.

Sick kids, disrupted routines, broken sleep, and fewer social touchpoints all add up. And many mothers remain the emotional center of the household while carrying this load.

There is often very little space to be unwell, physically or emotionally, when others rely on you.

This isn’t a failure of resilience.
It’s a reality of nervous system capacity.

A Gentle Wintering Checklist

This checklist is not meant to be completed.

It’s meant to be returned to.

Think of it as a permission slip – an invitation to soften expectations and support your nervous system through the season you’re actually in.

1. Fewer Expectations, Not Better Productivity

Notice where you’re asking yourself to “push through” simply because that’s what you’re used to.

Winter often calls for:

• Fewer commitments
• Smaller goals
• More spacious timelines
• Smaller circles

Doing less is not falling behind…it’s adaptive.

2. More Warmth (Literal and Emotional)

Warmth is regulating.

This might look like:

• Warm drinks and meals
• Layers, blankets, and soft clothing
• Seeking emotional warmth through safe connection

Your nervous system reads warmth as safety.

3. Earlier Bedtimes When Possible

Sleep is one of the most powerful regulators we have.

Even small shifts – going to bed 20 minutes earlier, lowering stimulation in the evenings, dimming lights – can make a difference over time.

4. Lower Stimulation Evenings

Winter is not the season for constant input.

Consider:

• Fewer screens at night
• Quieter evenings
• Gentler transitions into sleep

Your nervous system doesn’t reset through more information – it resets through rhythm and rest.

5. Naming What Feels Heavy

Instead of asking, “What’s wrong with me?” try asking, “What feels heavy right now?” or “What do I need?”

Naming your experience can be regulating in itself. It reduces the internal pressure to perform or explain.

6. Short Grounding Pauses (Not Full Resets)

You don’t need a full morning routine or a perfectly calm nervous system.

Sometimes wintering looks like:

• Feeling your feet on the floor
• Taking three slower breaths
• Placing a hand on your chest or belly

Small, consistent pauses are often more accessible and more effective than big resets.

7. Letting Rest Be Preventative, Not Earned

Rest is not a reward for productivity.

In winter, rest is maintenance.

Waiting until you’re depleted often means it takes longer to recover. Gentle, preventative rest supports your system before it reaches overwhelm.

Winter Isn’t Asking You to Bloom

If you take nothing else from this checklist, let it be this:

Winter is not asking you to grow, achieve, or optimize.
It’s asking you to protect, repair, and listen.

If things feel slower, heavier, or more tender right now, you’re not doing it wrong.

You’re responding appropriately to the season you’re in.

And that, in itself, is a form of wisdom.